The prophet Isaiah once wrote, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)
The reason we are often surprised or baffled by the ways of God is because He is not like us. Rather, we are like Him; only we are created, finite and made of dust instead of eternal, infinite and consisting of glory, righteousness, justice, truth, power and love. God is other. He is higher. He is greater. So, it makes sense that He would do things differently . . . . better and far more efficiently than we would do them. I find that it's when I think I've figured out His plan that He blindsides me with something wonderful or something hard that will become wonderful.
For instance, a few months ago when Sara was so ill with RSV and an ear infection that would not budge, I was certain that a tube surgery was in our very near future. So was our doctor. Instead, the Lord impressed it upon my heart to fast from lunch and snacks every day for a week, and seek Him while asking for a miraculous healing. I had never fasted from food for any period of time. Taken a little off guard, I trusted and obeyed, and one week later, her ears were clear and have mostly remained clear since. I thought at the time that the whole process was for Sara's benefit alone. It turns out that it was for mine, too. I subconsciously limited God to doing one thing at a time, a habit that needs breaking. The action of fasting, denying myself physical food in faith that God would provide much more important spiritual food and experiencing His faithfulness to do it, was as vital to me as was Sara's healing. I had planned for a surgery, and to my astonishment, received a miraculous healing and what I would need to face the weeks ahead. Here, I was blindsided with something as wonderful in foretaste as it was in aftertaste. But it doesn't always happen that way.
Sometimes, in the middle of a happy, exciting time in life, people get sick, and we just don't understand. Sometimes, it's someone you know or someone you love. And sometimes, it's you. It's all hard, and it's impossible to understand how something so awful could actually be for good, but you trust, you hope. And sometimes, you can see some of the good--for you and/or others.
If you've been reading awhile, you may remember me writing about the elders of our church coming to pray for me. They came at the end of a difficult day, and I would have loved to have been miraculously healed before they left. That is not what happened at all. You may also remember me asking for prayer for my husband, Brandon, who had been having strange, allergic-esque symptoms to we-had-no-idea-what, and was feeling very ill himself. As Randy, one of the elders prayed specifically for him, Brandon said that he felt a physical weight lift off of his shoulders. He got the miraculous healing, and it has proved out over the last three weeks. He has been perfectly healthy (sleep deprivation aside) since that night.
Sara was the other benefactor from that night. Since then, she has adjusted quickly and beautifully to every change we've thrown at her. She took a bottle much easier than I had imagined. When she began taking a bottle, her six month long bout of colic DISAPPEARED. She switched to the strange goat milk formula I'm making daily for her (strange because it includes goat milk, water, prune juice, blackstrap molasses, orange flavored cod liver oil, raspberry flavored B vitamin and folic acid supplements, bitter-tasting Vitamin D, extra virgin olive oil . . . . it's strange, I tell you) without a hitch. She began sleeping for most of the night in her bed when we began requiring her to so I could get more restful sleep, and then began sleeping all night in her bed all on her own, and THEN began taking two hour naps out of the blue.
In case you aren't familiar with my littlest's former habits, allow me to elaborate. This child DID. NOT. SLEEP. the first two weeks of life. She took 20 minute cat naps every 3-4 hours, but would stay awake all night long. She was colicky to boot, so there was no sleeping for me until I decided to sleep with her in the guest bed in her nursery. That sleep wasn't very high quality as she ate 2-3 times a night and had tummy issues from about 1am until we got up, but it was some sleep as opposed to no sleep, which can quite literally kill you. When she began "sleeping" at night, she stopped taking naps in the day. I occasionally would luck up and get a half hour snooze, but it was rare. Evenings were, for lack of a better metaphor, hell. She began wailing (she cries louder than any toddler I've met . . . I think we have a future Wagnerian soprano on our hands) at 5pm every day and would often carry on until 1 am. Over time, the screaming fits became shorter, but they never went away . . . . until after the elders prayed for her.
The elders had come to pray for me, but my husband and daughter were the ones who got the miracles. And I am so, TOTALLY okay with that. It wasn't what I had expected. It wasn't what I had hoped for. Instead, it was exactly what was needed, and I am incredibly grateful that my husband and daughter are doing so well! (I believe my time is coming!) Our family as a whole is doing better because I am sick. My illness was the impetus for this goodness and for much more goodness that I don't have time to recount at the moment.
It's hard to be sick. It's hard to hurt physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. However, I wouldn't trade my situation with anyone. I'm getting to experience the Lord work on my behalf in the most tender, intimate ways. I'm getting to know parts of His character I never knew before. I'm falling in love with Him all over again. So yes, this has been hard, but it's been wonderful, too. Thank you, Jesus, for these "little miracles," and thank you for being enough for me while I wait on my "big miracle," a miracle I can honestly say I could do without if that was what you wanted, but a miracle I believe is coming . . . . maybe just around the corner.
Prayer Request Update:
Tomorrow, I will be seeing Dr. Yakaboski, a naturopathic doctor in West Monroe, who specializes in nutrition. Please pray that the Lord will give her keen insight into my situation, and that we can come up with a plan for me to get the nutrition I need to get well.
The kids have been sick for over a week now. It's nothing serious, but they are miserable. Unsurprisingly, I caught it, as well. Micah had an anaphylactic attack while eating a snack on Sunday, and Sara choked on mashed avocado this morning. I did the Heimlich maneuver for babies on her. Liquid avocado shot out of her mouth (no bits, though . . . . weird, no?) after a couple of forceful pats on the back, and all was well. I think the devil is messing with my kids, and I don't like it. Please pray for our family's protection from the wicked one. I don't want to be protected from God's glory, but I do want to be protected from Satan's schemes. I hesitate to say this next sentence because some of you will think it's crazy or impossible, while others will think it's kind of cool--it's neither, by the way. We have experienced some very evident activity from evil spirits lately. Please pray with us against this!
I've begun a healing regimen called The Healing Codes. Please pray with me that God would use this regimen to bring swift healing to my body. If you are interested in reading more about The Healing Codes, you can check out this website: http://thehealingcodes.com/. Dr. Yak bases much of her practice on The Healing Codes. Incredulous, I decided to buy the book so that I would be prepared for whatever new age voodoo crap she was going to pull on me. As it turns out, The Healing Codes is based on Christian principles and good science, so I'm totally comfortable with it after reading through the book with much prayer, scripture referencing and discernment. I don't think The Healing Codes are the answer to all of my problems. With the authors, I agree that God can use them as a tool to heal me, and it is my prayer that they do.
Thank you all for your kindness, love and support through prayer, service and encouragement. May God bless you all with more of Himself!
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